Your kid is gaming.Here's how to be part of it.
You don't need to become a gamer. You just need to understand what your kid is doing, know what to look for, and learn how to connect with them in their world. This page is your starting point.
Where is your kid hanging out online?
Your kid is probably on more platforms than you realize. Here are the big ones and what you need to know about each:
Discord is a communication app — think of it like a combination of group texting, phone calls, and video chat, organized into communities called "servers." Your kid probably uses it to talk with friends while gaming, but it's also used for homework groups, fan communities, and just hanging out. A Discord server is like a clubhouse with different rooms — some for text, some for voice. Safety depends entirely on who runs the server. Users must be 13+.
Roblox is a platform where players create and play games made by other users. It's massively popular with younger kids. It has built-in chat, friend systems, and virtual currency. The quality of moderation varies wildly from game to game within the platform.
Minecraft is a sandbox building game with both single-player and multiplayer servers. Multiplayer servers can be run by anyone, and the rules and safety of each server depend entirely on who runs it. Some are great. Many are not.
None of these platforms are inherently dangerous — but like any social space, safety depends entirely on who's running it and who's in it. That's exactly why SquishVerse exists: to build community spaces where safety isn't optional.
The short version
- ✓Kids are on Discord, Roblox, Minecraft, and more — often all at once
- ✓Each platform has its own safety settings — learn them
- ✓Safety depends on the community, not the platform itself
- ✓You can (and should) adjust privacy and safety settings on every platform
Parental Controls by Platform
Every major platform has built-in parental controls. Here's exactly how to set them up — step by step, no tech degree required.
Discord
6 steps
Turn on Safe Direct Messaging
Open Discord > Settings (gear icon) > Privacy & Safety. Set "Safe Direct Messaging" to "Keep me safe" — this scans all DMs for explicit content and blocks it automatically.
Control who can DM your child
In the same Privacy & Safety section, turn OFF "Allow direct messages from server members." This prevents strangers in shared servers from DMing your child directly.
Control friend requests
Settings > Privacy & Safety > "Who can send you a friend request." Uncheck "Everyone" and "Server Members" — leave only "Friends of Friends" checked, or no options if you want full control.
Review server memberships
Right-click or tap your child's profile icon and look at the server list. Ask them about any server you don't recognize. Servers are like group chats — anyone can create one, and quality varies wildly.
Set up Family Center (if under 18)
Discord has a built-in Family Center. Go to Settings > Family Center. This lets a parent link their account and see: who your teen is talking to, what servers they're in, and their activity summary — without reading actual messages.
Understand what voice channels are
Voice channels let users talk in real-time (like a phone call). Your child may be in voice chat with people you can't hear. Ask them who they voice chat with and periodically sit in earshot.
Xbox
6 steps
Create a child account
Go to xbox.com/family or the Xbox Family Settings app. Add your child as a family member with their own Microsoft account. Never let them use your adult account — child accounts have built-in protections.
Set content restrictions by age
In Family Settings > Content restrictions, set the age rating limit. This controls which games they can buy and play. "Everyone 10+" blocks M-rated games. You can also approve individual games above the limit.
Control who they can communicate with
Family Settings > Privacy & online safety > Xbox privacy > Communication & multiplayer. Set "Others can communicate" to "Friends only" and "You can join multiplayer games" to "Allow" (or "Block" for younger kids).
Set screen time limits
Use the Xbox Family Settings app (free, iOS and Android). Set daily time limits per day of the week. When time runs out, the console locks and your child can request more time through the app — you approve or deny from your phone.
Review activity reports
The Xbox Family Settings app sends weekly activity reports showing which games were played, for how long, and who they played with. Check these regularly — they're the easiest way to stay informed.
Manage spending
Family Settings > Content restrictions > Ask a parent. Turn this on so every purchase requires your approval. You can also add a set amount to their account so they have a spending limit.
PlayStation
6 steps
Create a child account under your family
On the PS5: Settings > Users and Accounts > Other > Family Management > Add Family Member. Create a child account with their real age. You'll automatically become the Family Manager with control over their settings.
Set age-level restrictions
Family Management > your child's account > Parental Controls. Set the age level (1-11 scale). This restricts which games they can play and what content they can view based on rating. Level 3 = roughly ages 7+, Level 5 = ages 12+, Level 9 = ages 16+.
Restrict communication
Parental Controls > Communication and User-Generated Content. Set to "Restrict" — this blocks your child from sending/receiving messages, voice chat, and sharing images with players who aren't their friends.
Set monthly spending limits
Parental Controls > Monthly Spending Limit. Set a dollar amount (including $0) for how much they can spend on the PlayStation Store per month. When they hit the limit, purchases are blocked.
Set play time controls
Parental Controls > Play Time Settings. Set which days and time zones they can play, and for how long. Choose between a notification when time is up (they can keep playing) or auto-logout (console locks).
Use the PlayStation App
Download the PlayStation App (free, iOS and Android). You can adjust all parental controls, approve purchases, and see what your child is playing — all from your phone.
Nintendo Switch
6 steps
Download the Parental Controls app
Search for "Nintendo Switch Parental Controls" in the App Store or Google Play. It's free. Open the app, create a Nintendo account (if you don't have one), and link it to your child's Switch by entering the registration code on the console.
Set daily play time limits
In the app: Play-Time Limit. Set how long your child can play each day (15 minutes to 6 hours). Choose "Alarm Only" (a notification pops up but they can keep playing) or "Suspend Software" (the game pauses when time runs out).
Set content restriction level
In the app: Restriction Level. Choose from preset levels — "Young Child" (ages 0-7), "Child" (ages 8-12), "Teen" (ages 13-17), or set a custom restriction. This controls which games they can launch based on age rating.
Restrict online communication
In the app: Restriction Level > Custom settings > "Communicating with Others." Set to "Restricted" — this blocks your child from posting to social media, sending messages, and communicating with strangers in games that support it.
Disable purchases
You can restrict eShop purchases entirely from the app, or set a PIN on the console itself: System Settings > Parental Controls > Use this Console > eShop Purchase Restriction. This prevents buying games without your PIN.
Check the daily play time report
The app shows a daily and monthly summary of exactly what games were played and for how long. Check this regularly — it's the simplest way to see what your child is actually doing on the Switch.
PC / Windows
6 steps
Create a child Microsoft account
Go to family.microsoft.com and sign in with your Microsoft account. Click "Add a family member" > "Member." Create a new account for your child with their real age. Never give your child an admin account — always a standard user.
Set screen time limits
On family.microsoft.com > your child > Screen time. Set daily time limits for Windows and specific apps. You can set different limits per day of the week. When time's up, the PC locks — they can request more time, and you approve from your phone.
Filter web content
Family Safety > your child > Content filters > Web & search. Turn on "Only use allowed websites" for strict mode, or use the age-appropriate filter that blocks adult content. This works in Microsoft Edge — consider making Edge the only available browser.
Control app and game access
Content filters > Apps and games. Set an age rating limit. This blocks games and apps above that rating from the Microsoft Store and prevents launching already-installed apps that exceed the limit.
Set up Steam Family View (if they use Steam)
Open Steam > Settings > Family > Family View. Enable it and choose which features your child can access: store, community, friends, existing games only, or specific game categories. Set a PIN — they can't exit Family View without it.
Use the Family Safety app
Download the Microsoft Family Safety app (free, iOS and Android). You get location tracking, activity reports, screen time controls, and spending alerts — all from your phone. Activity reports show which apps and websites they used and for how long.
Mobile (iOS / Android)
6 steps
iOS: Set up Screen Time
Settings > Screen Time > Turn on Screen Time > "This is My Child's iPhone." Set a Screen Time passcode (different from the phone's unlock code). Set Downtime (scheduled off-hours), App Limits (time limits per app category), and Content & Privacy Restrictions.
iOS: Block explicit content and apps
Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Content Restrictions. Set restrictions for music, movies, apps, and web content. Under "Web Content," choose "Limit Adult Websites" or "Allowed Websites Only" for younger children.
iOS: Disable in-app purchases
Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > iTunes & App Store Purchases. Set "In-app Purchases" to "Don't Allow." This prevents any spending without your Screen Time passcode — critical since many games have loot boxes and microtransactions.
Android: Set up Google Family Link
Download the Google Family Link app (free). Create or link your child's Google account. This gives you control over app approvals, screen time, content filters, location, and more — all from your phone.
Android: Approve app downloads
In Family Link > Controls > Google Play. Turn on "Require approval for" and select "All content." Every app, game, movie, and book download will need your approval before installing.
Android: Set content restrictions
Family Link > Controls > Content restrictions. Set age ratings for apps, games, movies, TV, books, and music. Also toggle on "Restrict content that appears in Search" to filter explicit web results.
Warning Signs to Watch For
Most kids who game are fine. But it's important to know what might signal that something isn't right. None of these alone means there's a problem — but they're worth paying attention to.
Sudden secrecy about online activity
If your kid used to share what they were doing online and suddenly won't, that's worth a conversation — not an interrogation.
Mood changes after gaming sessions
Gaming should be fun. If your kid is consistently upset, anxious, or angry after playing, something might be happening in those spaces.
New 'friends' they won't talk about
Online friendships are real and valid. But if your kid can't or won't tell you anything about who they're talking to, pay attention.
Staying up unusually late
Some late nights are normal. Every night is a pattern. Especially if they're hiding it.
Receiving gifts or money from online contactsRed Flag
This is a serious red flag. Adults who send gifts to minors online are grooming them. Full stop.
Withdrawing from real-life friends and activities
Gaming can be social. But if it's replacing all other social contact, it's time to dig deeper.
How to Start Gaming with Your Kid
You don't need to be good at games. You don't even need to like them. You just need to show up and try. Here's how to start:
Ask them to show you
Literally sit down and say "Can you show me what you're playing?" Let them be the expert. Kids love teaching adults things.
Start with something easy
Games like Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Mario Kart, or Animal Crossing are low-pressure and fun for beginners. Let your kid pick something they think you'd enjoy.
Be bad at it and laugh about it
Seriously. Falling off cliffs, walking into walls, getting lost — it's all part of it. Your kid will think it's hilarious, and that's the point. You're bonding.
Make it a regular thing
Even 30 minutes a week makes a difference. It doesn't have to be a big production. Just "Hey, want to play a round together?"
Ask questions, not just about the game
"Who do you play with?" "What do you like about this game?" "Has anyone ever been weird to you online?" Gaming together opens the door for these conversations naturally.
Want to learn more?
Parent Player Academy is part of SquishVerse Foundation. Join our community to connect with other parents, ask questions, and get resources that actually help.